I don’t believe “I believe”?
That at some point in time an ideal of human relationship was created, packaged and marketed for mass-consumption is a self-evident fact.
That everyone believes in this mass-circulated ideal is another fact.
With cynics like me living on the margin thinking, “does everyone really believe”?
Does everyone believe in the Pop definition of love?
Without putting too much weight on conspiracy theory, but it does seem that there is a certain stress paid to certain ideals about the what and how of love. The media machine and consumerist culture seem to be make the most out of it.
I would even venture and say that this ideal serves the very notions of patriarchy.
But all this aside my own experience is the very reason why I can’t reconcile the two realities.
I live in a society which condemns same-sex relationships added to the general consensus (that gay people tend to perpetuate) that gay people are not exactly the best candidates for lasting, meaningful relationships. My experience of same-sex relationships does not prove anything to the contrary.
It seems to actually reinforce the idea that men are not “naturally” monogamous. Or that is in the very “nature” of gay people to be promiscuous.
Essentialist notions about human nature are anything but true or even sensible, in the archaic sense of the word.
It does not sound very correct to condemn an entire sex to promiscuity just by the behavior of a very vocal and visible minority.
It does not sound very fair that this minority should speak on the behalf of others and reinforce these ideals.
However, inCairo
If we browse the over one thousand profiles on gaydar or manjam, we see one cheesy profile after the other.
All speaking the same “language”. All using the same “lexicon”. Quoting from Pop songs and “romantic” movies. All this leaves little to be desired
That everyone believes in this mass-circulated ideal is another fact.
With cynics like me living on the margin thinking, “does everyone really believe”?
Does everyone believe in the Pop definition of love?
Without putting too much weight on conspiracy theory, but it does seem that there is a certain stress paid to certain ideals about the what and how of love. The media machine and consumerist culture seem to be make the most out of it.
I would even venture and say that this ideal serves the very notions of patriarchy.
But all this aside my own experience is the very reason why I can’t reconcile the two realities.
I live in a society which condemns same-sex relationships added to the general consensus (that gay people tend to perpetuate) that gay people are not exactly the best candidates for lasting, meaningful relationships. My experience of same-sex relationships does not prove anything to the contrary.
It seems to actually reinforce the idea that men are not “naturally” monogamous. Or that is in the very “nature” of gay people to be promiscuous.
Essentialist notions about human nature are anything but true or even sensible, in the archaic sense of the word.
It does not sound very correct to condemn an entire sex to promiscuity just by the behavior of a very vocal and visible minority.
It does not sound very fair that this minority should speak on the behalf of others and reinforce these ideals.
However, in
If we browse the over one thousand profiles on gaydar or manjam, we see one cheesy profile after the other.
All speaking the same “language”. All using the same “lexicon”. Quoting from Pop songs and “romantic” movies. All this leaves little to be desired
All believe in “love”.
Even my friends believe in “Mr. Right”.
And then the question was asked to me: “do you believe in love?”
And it took me a while to think. Plato once said that it all started with love. Maybe it did. But I don’t believe it all ended with love.
I believe in the human capacity for feeling. For emotion. A supreme emotion perhaps. But the idea that my feelings and the way I should express them has to conform to a standardized, almost stylized courting rituals is completely beyond me.
I keep wondering is it my experience, that I never had this stylized, elaborate expressions of affection that made me think this way? Or the disdain the men I was involved with made me in turn look down on them?
Or is it my awareness of my “subjectivity” once more?
That I am pursuing a same-sex relationship in a hostile environment.
That I constantly have to remind myself this is notAmsterdam or Vermont
This isCairo
And then the question was asked to me: “do you believe in love?”
And it took me a while to think. Plato once said that it all started with love. Maybe it did. But I don’t believe it all ended with love.
I believe in the human capacity for feeling. For emotion. A supreme emotion perhaps. But the idea that my feelings and the way I should express them has to conform to a standardized, almost stylized courting rituals is completely beyond me.
I keep wondering is it my experience, that I never had this stylized, elaborate expressions of affection that made me think this way? Or the disdain the men I was involved with made me in turn look down on them?
Or is it my awareness of my “subjectivity” once more?
That I am pursuing a same-sex relationship in a hostile environment.
That I constantly have to remind myself this is not
This is
A man works out, whips a bunch of roses out of nowhere and he thinks he owns the world.
He thinks he has a claim to everyone’s (man or woman) heart.
I can’t help but think, is this reality?
Is this my reality?
I would go for the average. Or the “alternative”?
The exaltation of ideals, the creation of idols to worship seems to lose its allure the more I grow up.
The harsher reality is.
Or should I just add “cynical” to “eccentric” and “morbid”?
He thinks he has a claim to everyone’s (man or woman) heart.
I can’t help but think, is this reality?
Is this my reality?
I would go for the average. Or the “alternative”?
The exaltation of ideals, the creation of idols to worship seems to lose its allure the more I grow up.
The harsher reality is.
Or should I just add “cynical” to “eccentric” and “morbid”?
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