All or Nothing?

So after Kiki jinxed my date to no end (rumor has it she consulted a voodoo priestess) and it finally worked, here I was finally sitting in a mediocre coffee house, very middle class with a hint of trashiness permeating the air, with my unnamed gentleman (I didn't know his name till that very date) basking in the glory of his exquisite eyebrows, magnificent skin, and imposing physique when he decided to open his beautiful mouth and speak.

Big mistake.

Acts of speech are a serious business. One should never attempt to do them unless one is absolutely certain s/he can bear the consequences.
In my unnamed gentleman's attempt to be a little more intimate and deep, he asked me what am I looking for and what do I expect.
Up to that point the profoundest thing we said to each other is our preference for fruits and junk food.
Relationships was a whole different realm, that we, I, avoided purposefully, for I know how men are.
And I know the moment relationships step on the scene, its a cut and a wrap, done and done with, over and out, finished and executed, literally.
It was done and done with.
My unnamed gentleman, with his exquisite eyebrows and stunning skin, was not only a bisexual, but was very much keen in maintaining the traditional setting of a house, spouse and children.
Thanks Kiki for the wonderful hex!

That was one violent speech act.

One that always stirs terrible emotions, feeling of injustice and resentment and a general feeling of helplessness.
Every time a man (from our Vaterland) reaffirms that heterosexual marriage is the natural course for things, that any one in his right mind would never turn down the institution of marriage with all the sociological privileges it creates, I die a little.
I feel I have to plead my case before a court, already decided on its verdict.
If the general mindset of men, in our glorious Vaterland, is that marriage is the natural course of life, then there is no hope for change.
Random episodes of promiscuity is the best we could hope for.
That is if we do manage to get into these "blissful" episodes.

And as I sat there defending my case, explaining that same-sex relationship, is like any other relationship, it requires the same effort and dedication, the same kind of social entanglement and involvement, I felt I was hitting a brick wall.
The general assumption is that gays, in the very derogatory and narrow sense of the word, are a group of parasitic, self-serving, sexually perverted individuals, who once get tired of their lewd, inconstant ways will happily turn to heterosexual bliss.

I don't want to turn heterosexual bliss. I don't want to have children of my own flesh and blood and I don't want to be badgered in wanting so.
Social decorum is the last priority on my list when it comes to matters of the heart.

Its a very lonely and unhappy place, the place where I am in, where one is certain of what s/he wants and how s/he wants it.
Because of some ridiculous notion of middle class respectability, I am denied the fundamental right to be with whomever person I choose to be with.
What an unhappy, lamentable fate.

Dismissing any significant, meaningful, long term same-sex relationship, my unnamed gentleman said, 'in life I usually go for all or nothing', and he chose nothing when it comes to men!