Law of Attraction
So Darling M held us all in awe with his latest post and without gushing like an adolescent queen I will show my own appreciation for his thought provoking post, by writing back to back!
When I read something that I like or enjoy I don't remember much detail, I usually remember certain words, a particular turn of phrase that somehow lingers in memory and echoes and resonates for a long time after.
And aside from the many picturesque descriptions M infused his post (sunny London and bubbly drinks on the roof) one particular word held my attention.
Attraction.
This act, this word, to attract, to attrirer (in French), to pull "yenjazb" and gravitate (in Arabic), that transitive verb that requires a subject and a direct object all at the same time to take place, to happen.
How do we attract?
What do we do to attract?
And most important of all, who do we attract?
While its very dangerous to put human relationships into an equation, its very tempting to do so, when there is a consistent pattern, a "correlation", we can't help but think of a numeric expression, a standardized numerical expression that can predict this pattern, this sequence, this relationship among those variables that almost always, "certainly" lead to the same result.
There is always a discrepancy between how we see ourselves and how the outside world sees us. The image we project does not necessarily parallel the one the world actually sees, unless we clearly conform to preset image, a certain look, a certain attitude, we jeopardize being marginalized, or un-understood.
No community is plagued with preset images as the gay community.
Anyone that does not conform to a preset notion of this and that stereotype risks being completed dismissed.
Unintelligible at best.
It goes without saying that in Cairo, this is tenfold than anywhere else.
Any slight variation on the tune, any slight "improv" and thats it, watch out for the audience throwing tomatoes at you.
You are either, slim, a muscle mary, a bear, a cub, fashion victim and if you are not any of these you are nothing.
It resembles schisms in the Christian church, a Catholic can not marry a Protestant, a Lutheran can not marry Seventh Day Adventist, and the list of denominations is endless.
And in Cairo, if you have "no type", then you are one classicist ass hole who thinks his God's gift to mankind.
After being present for close to 10 years on the scene, every single person I knew/know kept advising me, "you have to be less picky", "set your bar a little lower", " a bitch like you will never attract the muscle Gods, muscles Gods only like other muscle Gods",.....etc
And I let all this pep talk go to my head.
And I decided what if I remove the bar altogether (desperate times, call for desperate measures), and even the simplest task of asking for the average seems to be out of reach.
What bloody twisted trick of fate is that!
I was beginning to think its funny, even average people have set the bar too high!
I was flabbergasted till one day a dear friend pointed out to me, since the average are the majority, they are the ones that are most picky.
A twisted perspective but a valid one nonetheless.
If we borrow M's formula and start thinking in terms of variables, then if age is not a significant variable, body type is not a significant variable, if interests is not a significant variable then the end result is a huge population of men, right?
Wrong.
This is one side of the equation, there is a whole set of variables that apply to the other side.
How the world sees us back.
If you are one sarcastic, eccentric, morbid queen, there is fat chance that there are a whole bunch of variables that are significant.
If witches were burnt at the stake because they could write and read, then that makes me the wicked witch of the west.
Let it roar boys!
Back to our darling M, I wish there was a way where you can control these variables and guarantee a result.
And I wish there was a way one can explain how we do what we do, and why.
Biology, chemistry, genetics, philosophy, psychiatry, and, and, and...
And combine them all and the answer does not suffice.
Like our Lady of Disco once said, "In the end we all sleep alone".
When I read something that I like or enjoy I don't remember much detail, I usually remember certain words, a particular turn of phrase that somehow lingers in memory and echoes and resonates for a long time after.
And aside from the many picturesque descriptions M infused his post (sunny London and bubbly drinks on the roof) one particular word held my attention.
Attraction.
This act, this word, to attract, to attrirer (in French), to pull "yenjazb" and gravitate (in Arabic), that transitive verb that requires a subject and a direct object all at the same time to take place, to happen.
How do we attract?
What do we do to attract?
And most important of all, who do we attract?
While its very dangerous to put human relationships into an equation, its very tempting to do so, when there is a consistent pattern, a "correlation", we can't help but think of a numeric expression, a standardized numerical expression that can predict this pattern, this sequence, this relationship among those variables that almost always, "certainly" lead to the same result.
There is always a discrepancy between how we see ourselves and how the outside world sees us. The image we project does not necessarily parallel the one the world actually sees, unless we clearly conform to preset image, a certain look, a certain attitude, we jeopardize being marginalized, or un-understood.
No community is plagued with preset images as the gay community.
Anyone that does not conform to a preset notion of this and that stereotype risks being completed dismissed.
Unintelligible at best.
It goes without saying that in Cairo, this is tenfold than anywhere else.
Any slight variation on the tune, any slight "improv" and thats it, watch out for the audience throwing tomatoes at you.
You are either, slim, a muscle mary, a bear, a cub, fashion victim and if you are not any of these you are nothing.
It resembles schisms in the Christian church, a Catholic can not marry a Protestant, a Lutheran can not marry Seventh Day Adventist, and the list of denominations is endless.
And in Cairo, if you have "no type", then you are one classicist ass hole who thinks his God's gift to mankind.
After being present for close to 10 years on the scene, every single person I knew/know kept advising me, "you have to be less picky", "set your bar a little lower", " a bitch like you will never attract the muscle Gods, muscles Gods only like other muscle Gods",.....etc
And I let all this pep talk go to my head.
And I decided what if I remove the bar altogether (desperate times, call for desperate measures), and even the simplest task of asking for the average seems to be out of reach.
What bloody twisted trick of fate is that!
I was beginning to think its funny, even average people have set the bar too high!
I was flabbergasted till one day a dear friend pointed out to me, since the average are the majority, they are the ones that are most picky.
A twisted perspective but a valid one nonetheless.
If we borrow M's formula and start thinking in terms of variables, then if age is not a significant variable, body type is not a significant variable, if interests is not a significant variable then the end result is a huge population of men, right?
Wrong.
This is one side of the equation, there is a whole set of variables that apply to the other side.
How the world sees us back.
If you are one sarcastic, eccentric, morbid queen, there is fat chance that there are a whole bunch of variables that are significant.
If witches were burnt at the stake because they could write and read, then that makes me the wicked witch of the west.
Let it roar boys!
Back to our darling M, I wish there was a way where you can control these variables and guarantee a result.
And I wish there was a way one can explain how we do what we do, and why.
Biology, chemistry, genetics, philosophy, psychiatry, and, and, and...
And combine them all and the answer does not suffice.
Like our Lady of Disco once said, "In the end we all sleep alone".
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