Germans, Telephones and "Tell me your fantasy"
Now, I am not a big fan of phone sex. There is a certain degree of awkwardness that can not be overcome, even by an intense orgasm. Or perhaps because of one?
But for a certain age group of gentlemen this seems to be the favorite "method" to get your rocks off.
Now, I am not making a moral judgment on these fine gentlemen. Not in this blog, definitely. But the fact is, why settle for a glimpse of reality than reality itself? why settle for an imitation of reality when you can have this reality right "on your bed"?
That does not, and never did make sense to me. Whats interesting about guessing or picturing someone's intimate body actions and reflexes when you can witness them yourself?
Is it the whole notion that you have more control over the phone than if you actually had this person physically there? The insecurity of old age, and the fear that a young partner might take control? A struggle of power that is?
I have to admit the gentlemen I was involved with over the phone in a series of indecent calls, were definitely more in charge, more in control of the whole thing. They moderated masterfully.
So, phone sex is empowering for middle-aged men and kinky for younger ones?
The gentleman I was last involved with, is a German middle aged man, who seem to know his way around telecommunication lines very well.
He gives his orders very clearly, with such precision and accuracy, and he knows how to moderate the progress of the entire thing!
The tone, the setting, the rate...and a girl would do anything to get her rocks off...
Even if she has to resort to awkward sex. After all this is Cairo not Berlin.
But how disconnected and alienating is "doing it" over the phone? Yes, the person on the other side, is an expert in getting it on with you, and you end up blissfully happy and spent, but you don't get to see the person you are talking to, or even get to see that person get his rocks off...
Being the relationship freak that I am, and being obsessed with meaningful ones, ones that lead to something, in the classical, heterosexist notion of a "productive", "procreative" sense.. Placing relationships in the context of a process that ultimately leads to something, whatever this something is, mutilates the relationship.. It stops you from enjoying it, from taking it for what it really is..
phone sex seems to exacerbate this feeling.. that having sex over the phone is not a meaningful experience.. which brings me to the question should every sexual experience be meaningful? If it were I wouldn't be writing this blog right now..
But the fact that you can't see the person you are talking to, is liberating in itself.. you are free from the scrutiny of an inquisitive eye.. you're not inhibited, you can say things that you would not normally say in your everyday experiences..
Its liberating and alienating at the same time.. when you explore your intimate fantasies over the phone line, and all you hear is a ragged breathing and the static, its not a very warm sensation..
Me, I was never good at verbalizing my fantasies.. "I want you to touch my (beep) and squeeze my (beep)".. I would rather write this down then say it over the telephone line.. saying it, puts much emphasis on it.. it brings it to life, and gives it a form, and you can claim it as yours and you can get indicted because of it!
You become identified with it.. "you said you liked this", mmm, the power of sound..
The power of sound goes both ways I guess.. And if you can tell your fantasy right, you can have a good time!
But for a certain age group of gentlemen this seems to be the favorite "method" to get your rocks off.
Now, I am not making a moral judgment on these fine gentlemen. Not in this blog, definitely. But the fact is, why settle for a glimpse of reality than reality itself? why settle for an imitation of reality when you can have this reality right "on your bed"?
That does not, and never did make sense to me. Whats interesting about guessing or picturing someone's intimate body actions and reflexes when you can witness them yourself?
Is it the whole notion that you have more control over the phone than if you actually had this person physically there? The insecurity of old age, and the fear that a young partner might take control? A struggle of power that is?
I have to admit the gentlemen I was involved with over the phone in a series of indecent calls, were definitely more in charge, more in control of the whole thing. They moderated masterfully.
So, phone sex is empowering for middle-aged men and kinky for younger ones?
The gentleman I was last involved with, is a German middle aged man, who seem to know his way around telecommunication lines very well.
He gives his orders very clearly, with such precision and accuracy, and he knows how to moderate the progress of the entire thing!
The tone, the setting, the rate...and a girl would do anything to get her rocks off...
Even if she has to resort to awkward sex. After all this is Cairo not Berlin.
But how disconnected and alienating is "doing it" over the phone? Yes, the person on the other side, is an expert in getting it on with you, and you end up blissfully happy and spent, but you don't get to see the person you are talking to, or even get to see that person get his rocks off...
Being the relationship freak that I am, and being obsessed with meaningful ones, ones that lead to something, in the classical, heterosexist notion of a "productive", "procreative" sense.. Placing relationships in the context of a process that ultimately leads to something, whatever this something is, mutilates the relationship.. It stops you from enjoying it, from taking it for what it really is..
phone sex seems to exacerbate this feeling.. that having sex over the phone is not a meaningful experience.. which brings me to the question should every sexual experience be meaningful? If it were I wouldn't be writing this blog right now..
But the fact that you can't see the person you are talking to, is liberating in itself.. you are free from the scrutiny of an inquisitive eye.. you're not inhibited, you can say things that you would not normally say in your everyday experiences..
Its liberating and alienating at the same time.. when you explore your intimate fantasies over the phone line, and all you hear is a ragged breathing and the static, its not a very warm sensation..
Me, I was never good at verbalizing my fantasies.. "I want you to touch my (beep) and squeeze my (beep)".. I would rather write this down then say it over the telephone line.. saying it, puts much emphasis on it.. it brings it to life, and gives it a form, and you can claim it as yours and you can get indicted because of it!
You become identified with it.. "you said you liked this", mmm, the power of sound..
The power of sound goes both ways I guess.. And if you can tell your fantasy right, you can have a good time!
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