Will You Marry Me?

After a year of abstinence and sworn film celibacy, we, the girls and me, finally had the chance and were in the same room to watch the season's fashion saga, ultimate chick flick fantasy, Sex and the City the movie
We were surprised by how willingly the characters embraced the fairy tale, albeit with setbacks, but Cinderella got her prince and her Manolo's too.
And we were surprised by how easily we accepted or rather secretly wished for it.
Are we getting older?
As my dearest friend once wondered over her facebook status.
We wouldn't have it any other way. The 'last single gal' had to say her 'I dos', whether in church or in city hall and thats a wrap everyone.
Still hung up on the fairy tale I didn't have time to process, before another dear friend surprised me by throwing his engagement party just after New Year's!
A long devout celibate and an anti-marriage advocate, he was soon blissfully engaged to one of my dearest friends.
Gone was all the radicalism and replaced by 'les retouches bourgeoisie', as my dear friend called it.
And just as I was about to get over the fact that I am now alone in my fight against marriage, another friend, more of a toxic bachelor, and notorious for his bizarre sexpades got married to his long term boyfriend!
That was it!
The Universe speak as loud as we can hear, and I think the message was pretty clear.
And all of sudden it hit me, what my sister (my biological sister that is) used to say when we were young, 'I would like to get married one day, I am not really sure to who, or how, but I like the idea of marriage itself.'
I never understood that.
I never related to it. I was too postmodern for my own good.
Too caught up in the gender critiques of social institutions that perpetuated gender roles and oppressed diversity and difference.
If marriage is not about the individual, what the hell was it about?
And then I realized that I too want to get married.
For the very first time, the idea of marriage appealed to me in itself, regardless of who is involved in this arrangement.
My take on marriage was pretty pragmatic. Same-sex couples need a recognized legal arrangement that would guarantee their rights and honor whatever commitments they choose to take.
I saw that marriage, in the traditional white gown sense was a needless conformity for a group of minority social outcasts.
Who gives a shit about a wedding party as long as you have legal and civil rights like heterosexual couples?
Yet Kiki and me, over countless, brief moments of introspection and self-reflection realized that yes it would be nice to have this man, bend on one knee and say, 'will you marry me?'
Not the usual catchphrases we get, 'I never sleep with the same guy twice', 'I love sex and I love sex with different people', 'I am fucking hot and you are fucking lucky to have me', 'I don't do Egyptians', 'I don't do queens', 'No fats, No fems',.....etc and the list goes on.
And there are all kinds of explanations and philosophical rationalizations for these statements.
And sometimes not so philosophical.
The one I hear the most, is 'gay men are naturally promiscuous'.
And that is supposed to excuse everything.
While monogamy is the issue of the hour everywhere now, I don't give two figs about long-term, or how many people one gets involved with.
But once involved I have serious problem honoring this bond. I am pretty old fashioned in this sense. Give your word to someone and don't go back on it. And if you will, then say you will.
And while I would never be seen in white gown walking down the aisle, I would sure as hell not mind being seen striding in a black Karen Millen dress!