Operation Kiki Pimping: Failed!
After teasing Kiki mercilessly for years, about how she knows all kinds of men, and not once did she pass any of them around for her friends to sample I was pleasantly surprised one weekend when my phone rang and I answered to find a stranger saying he is of friend of Kiki and that she gave him my number!
Hallelujah I thought to myself! Kiki finally did it! Kiki pimped me!
I was even more thrilled because he sounded fancy and very sexy over the phone.
Before I know it, I was already thinking how does he look like, is he as sexy as he sounds, and a whole series of unfortunate "expectations" were already starting to take shape in my mind.
I called Kiki and inquired about the mysterious gentleman, and she said he is a successful something something, has his own car, has his own place, is well-educated, sexy and I said stop right there, I am done questioning!
My gentleman was eager to meet, and said he will call me in an hour.
He never did.
And I was starting to think, the one time that Kiki actually pimps me, she pimps me to an asshole! Way to go Kiki!
I didn't think so much of it, and went on with my weekend.
Then in the middle of a mindless conversation, in some mediocre diner, my phone rang. It was the asshole!
Bored, and craving any kind of "meaningful distraction", I picked up and answered. He said he was sorry, he came down with a cold and fell asleep.
And I told him it was fine, and that I am still (surprisingly) interested in meeting him.
And we agreed to meet in 30 minutes.
Thinking to myself, there is it. Finally a date (and potentially a great shag) with someone who actually can hold a conversation and has his own place!
Then I saw him.
And I cursed Kiki under my breath.
He was of a slim stature, bad teeth and if you still believe in physiognomy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physiognomy)his eyes and face betrayed a sly and gluttonous nature.
But I went along, and thought lets see where this goes.
Like most members of his sex, he was surprised that I could hold a conversation at all. And in a foreign language.
The conversation was more or less about work, travel and God knows what.
Till we came to the interesting part.
He is not gay. He is "bi-curious".
And he is not single. He has a girlfriend, that he sees every now and then for "consort visits".
Of course at this point I was ready to hex Kiki and cast a curse on her and everyone related to her.
Not only was I pimped to someone shorter than I am, and half my weight, but he is "bi-curious" with a girlfriend!
what the *&%$#@@$^??
Hallelujah I thought to myself! Kiki finally did it! Kiki pimped me!
I was even more thrilled because he sounded fancy and very sexy over the phone.
Before I know it, I was already thinking how does he look like, is he as sexy as he sounds, and a whole series of unfortunate "expectations" were already starting to take shape in my mind.
I called Kiki and inquired about the mysterious gentleman, and she said he is a successful something something, has his own car, has his own place, is well-educated, sexy and I said stop right there, I am done questioning!
My gentleman was eager to meet, and said he will call me in an hour.
He never did.
And I was starting to think, the one time that Kiki actually pimps me, she pimps me to an asshole! Way to go Kiki!
I didn't think so much of it, and went on with my weekend.
Then in the middle of a mindless conversation, in some mediocre diner, my phone rang. It was the asshole!
Bored, and craving any kind of "meaningful distraction", I picked up and answered. He said he was sorry, he came down with a cold and fell asleep.
And I told him it was fine, and that I am still (surprisingly) interested in meeting him.
And we agreed to meet in 30 minutes.
Thinking to myself, there is it. Finally a date (and potentially a great shag) with someone who actually can hold a conversation and has his own place!
Then I saw him.
And I cursed Kiki under my breath.
He was of a slim stature, bad teeth and if you still believe in physiognomy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physiognomy)his eyes and face betrayed a sly and gluttonous nature.
But I went along, and thought lets see where this goes.
Like most members of his sex, he was surprised that I could hold a conversation at all. And in a foreign language.
The conversation was more or less about work, travel and God knows what.
Till we came to the interesting part.
He is not gay. He is "bi-curious".
And he is not single. He has a girlfriend, that he sees every now and then for "consort visits".
Of course at this point I was ready to hex Kiki and cast a curse on her and everyone related to her.
Not only was I pimped to someone shorter than I am, and half my weight, but he is "bi-curious" with a girlfriend!
what the *&%$#@@$^??
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