Gay Numbers
A Number, a number is such a marvel of abstraction. An entire existence reduced to a figure of abstraction, I say one, and I mean one entity, one apple, one person, one month, its an indication, a reference to something that is, mostly was present.
Gay men seem to be very progressive with their abstraction.
"I slept with two guys", "How many guys did you sleep with?", "Whose next?", all indicate the ease by which a person, a gay person can be abstracted.
And the beauty of numbers, just like gay people, they're progressive. We constantly use numbers to express an every increasing awareness of reality. There was a million, then trillion, then google.
While numbers happily, satisfactorily express reality, and encaspulate complex relationships that could not have been explained any other way, "gay numbers" are quite different.
They do not express complexity. They are rather try to subvert it. Circumvent the complexity, the ramifications of saying "I slept with Robert, his cousin, his brother and his dad", one can just say "I slept with four men".
A complete subversion of the truth.
Well, we might find this ingenious, a remarkable adaptation of such an abstract phenomenon, I find it appalling.
Here is the problem, I was never good with numbers.
And thats why I am not good with men.
I could never believe how reality can be referenced by such abstract symbols.
I felt it undermined a great deal of something's existence.
For example referring to prisoners by their serial number, is the most dehumanizing experience anyone could go through.
I find it the same, when it comes to "gay numbers".
I hate numbers.
I refuse to be just "a number".
How convenient is it, to reduce, to whittle down a human experience and the person involved with it, to just a figure.
It was not bad or good, it was not meaningful or absurd, its just a number.
You, and whatever you stand for, and whatever experience you were involved in, does not go beyond a minuscule reference. You don't even merit a word. You're just a number.
Most everyone I know think that the reason why I choose not to fornicate indiscriminately with men who offers me his bed, is because I can't. Most vicious queens always keep saying no man would find me interesting enough or attractive enough.
I have three very attractive men lined up at my door right now, literally and figuratively, wanting me to be just a number.
I say no.
And this is not a cry against my promiscuity. Its my most sincere personal admission that I can not function with anyone who takes humans slightingly.
It shows a complete lack of responsibility.
Humans are complex beings, and whatever interactions that takes place amongst them can never be dismissed by such a unique innovation as numbers! I find it sacrilegious.
But then I have been called so many things, to my face and behind my back, but I still can't do it.
I can't do gay numbers.
Gay men seem to be very progressive with their abstraction.
"I slept with two guys", "How many guys did you sleep with?", "Whose next?", all indicate the ease by which a person, a gay person can be abstracted.
And the beauty of numbers, just like gay people, they're progressive. We constantly use numbers to express an every increasing awareness of reality. There was a million, then trillion, then google.
While numbers happily, satisfactorily express reality, and encaspulate complex relationships that could not have been explained any other way, "gay numbers" are quite different.
They do not express complexity. They are rather try to subvert it. Circumvent the complexity, the ramifications of saying "I slept with Robert, his cousin, his brother and his dad", one can just say "I slept with four men".
A complete subversion of the truth.
Well, we might find this ingenious, a remarkable adaptation of such an abstract phenomenon, I find it appalling.
Here is the problem, I was never good with numbers.
And thats why I am not good with men.
I could never believe how reality can be referenced by such abstract symbols.
I felt it undermined a great deal of something's existence.
For example referring to prisoners by their serial number, is the most dehumanizing experience anyone could go through.
I find it the same, when it comes to "gay numbers".
I hate numbers.
I refuse to be just "a number".
How convenient is it, to reduce, to whittle down a human experience and the person involved with it, to just a figure.
It was not bad or good, it was not meaningful or absurd, its just a number.
You, and whatever you stand for, and whatever experience you were involved in, does not go beyond a minuscule reference. You don't even merit a word. You're just a number.
Most everyone I know think that the reason why I choose not to fornicate indiscriminately with men who offers me his bed, is because I can't. Most vicious queens always keep saying no man would find me interesting enough or attractive enough.
I have three very attractive men lined up at my door right now, literally and figuratively, wanting me to be just a number.
I say no.
And this is not a cry against my promiscuity. Its my most sincere personal admission that I can not function with anyone who takes humans slightingly.
It shows a complete lack of responsibility.
Humans are complex beings, and whatever interactions that takes place amongst them can never be dismissed by such a unique innovation as numbers! I find it sacrilegious.
But then I have been called so many things, to my face and behind my back, but I still can't do it.
I can't do gay numbers.
Comments
me too ..
for sure !