My Sunni Boyfriend?
How bad could it be? Would it be very much like "sleeping with the enemy"?
It was very much a butt joke between me and the evil diva at some point in time.
That the perfect boyfriend would be a Sunni boyfriend, kind, sweet, moral, fair, and a natural misogynist with a latent homoeroticism that would put the Greeks to shame.
And we always fantasized about the possibility of courting a "Sunni dude" (to be perfectly honest the mere mention of the term gave me chills up and down my spine, in a good way!)
The segregated world of the "Sunni dude" and the hegemony of a certain moral order, (don't cuss, don't swear, be honest, be kind, be helpful,...etc) regardless of the intentionality or the purpose of such a moral order is infinitely appealing for those of us who have been consistently harassed by the male sex (be it heterosexual or not).
Now I have my own story with "Sunni dudes" that maybe one day I will write about, but for now, I am wondering about the possibility of ending up with a Sunni.
It might come as a shock (not really) but it is much easier dating a Sunni dude than dating someone on Manjam or Gadydar!
You don't have to explain to your parents that your boyfriend is staying over, or that you are "praying together" or that you are out late attending "religious instruction sessions".
People won't raise their eyebrows if you boys drive together late at night or even walk around hand in hand.
Its all part of the much applauded "brotherly affection".
Your Sunni boyfriend, will never cheat on you, never hit you (unless you clearly violate a religious directive), and he will never be versatile (part of the misogyny).
While your very relationship will be in clear violation of religion, while it lasts, it can be a very rewarding experience.
I am not fetishizing a stereotype or propagating a crude understanding of a complex phenomenon like Kiki Jr. does, I am pointing out to the superficial perception of a particular social group.
I am taking things at their face value, what appearance tells us and what "everyone" sees or likes to see.
Yes, "Sunni dudes" are usually much better-mannered, at least spoken wise, than your average Joe.
And they make very loyal "friends".
And you two can work on your "salvation" together!
In a situation like ours, what options do we have?
The married, the divorced, the socially incompatible and the versatile.
Each dragging around enough baggage to smother any desperate queen.
And I should know!
Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies only works in cheesy erotic stories) and have a job, are usually married.
Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies only exist in Victorian novels) and have a job are divorced or separated and have no interest in pursuing yet another relationship.
And Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies are so passe!) and have a job and are not married or divorced, think they are so good to be true, and that every bitch out there will be lucky enough to worship the quick sand they walk on.
And the versatile ones don't even merit a mention.
That is what most of us are left with.
And of course 19 years old who are 'Top Only'.
Now someone look me in the eye and tell me that at this particular point, the "Sunni boyfriend" oxymoron does not sound so strange or foreign anymore.
Aside from the screaming homoeroticism, and from a complete pragmatic point of view, it is a very attractive possibility.
My own moral and ideological prejudice aside, I can't help but consider it, nay, at some very disturbed, uncritical level, desire it.
Who in their minds would refuse being treated as an equal by another physically mature male?
If the few eligible men on Manjam, or Gaydar or the scanty Gayromeo, think they are doing us all a favor by their mere existence, its no wonder we should get creative and do something about it!
There is some food (rather some very desperate food) for thought, "how bad is the idea of the Sunni boyfriend?"
It was very much a butt joke between me and the evil diva at some point in time.
That the perfect boyfriend would be a Sunni boyfriend, kind, sweet, moral, fair, and a natural misogynist with a latent homoeroticism that would put the Greeks to shame.
And we always fantasized about the possibility of courting a "Sunni dude" (to be perfectly honest the mere mention of the term gave me chills up and down my spine, in a good way!)
The segregated world of the "Sunni dude" and the hegemony of a certain moral order, (don't cuss, don't swear, be honest, be kind, be helpful,...etc) regardless of the intentionality or the purpose of such a moral order is infinitely appealing for those of us who have been consistently harassed by the male sex (be it heterosexual or not).
Now I have my own story with "Sunni dudes" that maybe one day I will write about, but for now, I am wondering about the possibility of ending up with a Sunni.
It might come as a shock (not really) but it is much easier dating a Sunni dude than dating someone on Manjam or Gadydar!
You don't have to explain to your parents that your boyfriend is staying over, or that you are "praying together" or that you are out late attending "religious instruction sessions".
People won't raise their eyebrows if you boys drive together late at night or even walk around hand in hand.
Its all part of the much applauded "brotherly affection".
Your Sunni boyfriend, will never cheat on you, never hit you (unless you clearly violate a religious directive), and he will never be versatile (part of the misogyny).
While your very relationship will be in clear violation of religion, while it lasts, it can be a very rewarding experience.
I am not fetishizing a stereotype or propagating a crude understanding of a complex phenomenon like Kiki Jr. does, I am pointing out to the superficial perception of a particular social group.
I am taking things at their face value, what appearance tells us and what "everyone" sees or likes to see.
Yes, "Sunni dudes" are usually much better-mannered, at least spoken wise, than your average Joe.
And they make very loyal "friends".
And you two can work on your "salvation" together!
In a situation like ours, what options do we have?
The married, the divorced, the socially incompatible and the versatile.
Each dragging around enough baggage to smother any desperate queen.
And I should know!
Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies only works in cheesy erotic stories) and have a job, are usually married.
Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies only exist in Victorian novels) and have a job are divorced or separated and have no interest in pursuing yet another relationship.
And Those who are suitable, of the right age, socially compatible (working class fantasies are so passe!) and have a job and are not married or divorced, think they are so good to be true, and that every bitch out there will be lucky enough to worship the quick sand they walk on.
And the versatile ones don't even merit a mention.
That is what most of us are left with.
And of course 19 years old who are 'Top Only'.
Now someone look me in the eye and tell me that at this particular point, the "Sunni boyfriend" oxymoron does not sound so strange or foreign anymore.
Aside from the screaming homoeroticism, and from a complete pragmatic point of view, it is a very attractive possibility.
My own moral and ideological prejudice aside, I can't help but consider it, nay, at some very disturbed, uncritical level, desire it.
Who in their minds would refuse being treated as an equal by another physically mature male?
If the few eligible men on Manjam, or Gaydar or the scanty Gayromeo, think they are doing us all a favor by their mere existence, its no wonder we should get creative and do something about it!
There is some food (rather some very desperate food) for thought, "how bad is the idea of the Sunni boyfriend?"
Comments
I'd LOVE 2 have one, especially that he'll love 2 cure my agnosticism wa "yo7oteni" 3ala "el serat al mostaqeem" lol, but I donno I guess he'll be so hesitant abt the relationship!
What do u think?
The whole matter will be cloaked in the guise of self-denial and complete lack of awareness.
The Sunni dude will dress it in a different form, he will not say we are having sex, its more of communion! LOL
He will not say, 'I want to shag', he would say 'I want to embrace'.
Get it?
This is not a situation where someone will reflect on the paradoxical choices they make and try to reconcile them.
On the contrary.
This is a situation where two completely contradictory moral stances will coexist peacefully, side by side, by the mere fact that the person placing them in such a position (pun intended) has premeditated ignorance of the moral impossibility.
It will be "dropped out" on purpose.
And I know from "on hands" (pun intended) experience, that this can be done, is being done and will be done.
Where he places you, "the right path" or one that is "slightly curvy" one, makes no difference, you will bask in the "light" of a warm, fuzzy, extremely sinister affair.
But you can never reveal who you are, or what you are.
The moment you do that, the spell is broken, and hell breaks loose.
Keep your mouth shut, don't ask, don't tell and it will work just fine.
I'd give it a "shot" anyway! =D
The worst economy of exchange since the Bronze Age!
And its not about the veil, my mom is veiled and my sisters, that does not mean they are mentally incapacitated or oppressed. Or that they condone this or that ideology or belief.
Appearances only reveal that much.
And what I was suggesting, in a very twisted manner, was playing on the internal paradox of a certain ideology.
The fat homoerotic subtext is a feast for a bunch of desperate queens! lol