Sister, don't judge me?
Characters:
You ---------------- Everyday homo, the homo next door, a single homo, the archetype homo
Your sister--------His bestfriend, the keeper of his secrets, the good counsel, his best homo friend
Time ---------------The perpetual present
Place----------------The Land of the Nile
Judgment (1)
You: He got married a few weeks ago..
Your Sister: Oh sweetheart I am so sorry!
You: Its ok. I knew this was going to happen, but you are always never prepared for this moment..
Your Sister: Sweetheart, he is not worth it. He is a selfish asshole, who should be shot in a public square after having his balls cut off!
You: He called me yesterday and wanted to get together.
Your Sister: What?? NO!
You: Yes.. and I think I want to go see him..
Your Sister: Sweetheart that would be the worst thing that you could ever do! Whatever your feelings towards him, whatever you two are having, whatever you think he has and that no other man does, you can not see him again.. Its unfair to everyone in this situation
You: I don't want to think about fair or not fair.. I need to see him so I can have peace
Your Sister: I don't care for whatever reason that made him get married, social pressure, identity crisis, sexual confusion, he likes pussy, whatever, all the same to me, he made a certain lifestyle choice over being with you, and by doing that placed you in a position where you will always be the "other woman", the home wrecker, the harlot, the one that has no rights and can ask for none, and the one that is not treated as an equal. Sweetie you deserve better. Much better.
You: I don't know what I deserve or not, for the time when were together he was great, I just don't want to think about another guy.. I want him..
Your Sister: And you shouldn't and I am sorry but I am going to pull a Mariah Carey for that one, him "coming back to you, is against all the odds and thats what you have to face"!
You: Yeah, that helps a lot.. !
Your Sister: Sweetie, you know what you have to do, and you know what is right, you can't see a married man and you can not help him in thinking its easy to break a promise that he made to his wife to be faithful and monogamous. Or else you become like him: A selfish asshole!
Judgment (2)
You: I think I have a problem
Your Sister: Whats wrong?
You: I think I have an STD, one of the nasty ones..
Your Sister: What?? How??
You: I think its .......
Your Sister: What?? You only get that if you are practicing unsafe sex?!
You (with contrition): I did.. with this guy.. we did it once and then we never used condoms after..
Your sister (screaming): Have you completely lost your mind??? How could you???
You: I don't know! I just did! I assumed he is disease free and - I hate condoms!! HATE IT! Hate the fucking thing!!!
Your Sister: You are fucking insane!! What do you mean you "hate condoms"?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
You (exasperated): I don't know- this whole obsession with safe sex and the post-AIDS sexual ethics just doesn't go with me! Its such policing of intimacy and of the body.. I feel as if I have no control over my body..
Your Sister: The HELL you don't! Now you really don't have control over body!! Your exposing your body to every kind of lethal STD out there by what you are doing!! Fuck sexual ethics! There is a real threat to your life in not practicing safe sex! You can not argue your way out of this!
You: I am not arguing my way out this.. I made a decision and I now have to bear the consequencs of it..
Your Sister: No you don't! You are a hypocrite! You keep judging everyone for being promiscuous and keep demanding of the gay community a more "humane sexual ethic" and blah blah while you yourself are doing exactly what everyone else is doing!
You: No I am not! I amazed if people can survive fisting and I get that!
You (sighing): I am terrified.. How on Earth am I going to treat that?? I can't go to a physician, because the moment he sees that, he will know right away, not only am I a homosexual, but I am a sexually active homosexual and I don't use condoms!
Your Sister: This is what you fucking get when you don't use a fucking condom! Being gay in this fucking country is no fucking jolly ride! Its a fucking horrible existence! You don't want to add this a list of STDs that you can't get the right medical and psychological support for!!
You (in tears): I know.. and I am completely miserable.. Not as miserable over the STD, as much as I am miserable as how to deal with it.. I know so well, that I just can't go to a physician and seek help and now I will become a sexual pariah! No one would want to even touch me and I can't event take my clothes off without everyone knowing exactly what this is..
Your Sister: Maybe that is your lesson. For espousing a certain ideal and going against it, for preaching for so long about something and doing exactly the opposite! There is a real threat when you actually don't practice safe sex, you do endanger your life and those around you. Beyond ethics, beyond philosophy, beyond allergy and beyond the politics of intimacy. These tiny particles of things that we can't see and can't control can actually kill us, and they really don't care about how you feel about condoms!
You: Well you and the whole community can gloat and gloat and bitch all you like about it.. it is such a horrific moment, when the personal, the private becomes not only medicalized, turned into a lethal pathology, but subject to a moral gaze, a moral trial, a public censure for a behavior everyone regards as danger, irresponsible and self-destructive. All of this compounded by the fact that even the medicalization of such a private condition can not take place in a country like this.. you have to suck it in, and suffer in silence..
Your Sister: Ah! Spare me the self-pity! You screwed up and not in a good way and if you want a kiss and a pat on the shoulder, it won't be this time!
Judgment (3)
You: I am just not happy in that arrangement..
Your Sister: Sweetie, why? Whats wrong?
You: I just don't see why do I have to commit to one person and forfeit the opportunity to enjoy this incredible sensations with other people.. Why can't I just keep seeing other people and still have my own life?!
Your Sister: Is it about him? Or is this about commitment?
You: I don't know.. Part of me thinks that it is very realistic in a young same-sex relationship to be open and to provide this outlet and not to burden the relationship with the monotony of one sex partner -
Your Sister: Straight men do it all the time!
You: Straight men cheat!
Your Sister: Do all straight men cheat?
You: Yes! But its not about straight men, its about being realistic about your expectations and what you demand from your partner, you're young and healthy and want to experiment!
Your Sister: Is that the argument that men by nature want to amass the biggest number of sex partners to spread their seed?? Because if it is, well honey if men's evolutionary development entailed having the biggest number of sexual partners to spread their seed to ensure that their gene pool is passed through offspring, then this does not apply to us! Its strictly heterosexist and assumes that the only reason or objective of having sex is procreation and no matter how much seed you pass or receive, you can't get pregnant!
You: I know that! But its the same with hunting, we stopped hunting thousands of years ago but we still retain those instincts!
Your Sister: Really? Because if thats true, I can't even kill a fly! Not to mention my own food!
This whole instinct thing is rubbish. By the same argument we evolve beyond those instincts, because we respond to our changing environment.
You: We are going into side arguments, what I mean to say is I don't think anyone can be happy in a monogamous relationship for long and I don't think everyone is cut for it
Your Sister: I understand the sex part of it, I understand that men are naturally selfish and would like to maximize not only the pleasure they get but the way they receive this pleasure, but happiness is a whole other thing I can't see you arguing that
You: I am not happy like that.. I want to see other people and get excited about other people, otherwise the relationship becomes work!
Your Sister: Exactly! Relationships, are work! A lot of work! And they are not for the faint-hearted. And they are not for those who are selfish and they are not for those who want to be constantly excited!
You: Bitch!
Your Sister: Bitch all you like! But you can't justify your ennui about your relationship by saying that monogamous relationships are not a very positive condition for happiness. And you can not explain your desire to meet other people and enjoy multiple sexual encounters by your fear and phobia of commitment.
Commitment is not doing time, its NOT being incarcerated and deprived from every joy the way you make it sound. Its growing up and assuming responsibility!
You: Now you just sound boring! Like a real chick with issues!
Your Sister: Yes! I sound like a chick because I think people should make the effort and try to commit and stay in monogamous relationships??
You: Yes! It might work for straight people but what makes you think it will work for gay people?? What makes you think it will work for young gay men??
Your Sister: Don't bring the whole straight-gay thing about relationships are for straights and promiscuity is for gays! That just reinforces every disgusting stereotype about gay people! And it serves to show how a bunch of juvenile retards they are and how they have congenital problems in becoming responsible adults!
You: How does being in a monogamous relationship make you a responsible adult? What does it have to do with growing up?
Your Sister: Because you can not live your life being twenty five, and you can not live your life without developing one meaningful attachment to another human being, its almost impossible that any human is incapable of developing an emotional attachment, and those who can't are actually classified as sick! Its a disease!
You: I didn't say you should not develop a meaningful relationship with another person, I said have an open relationship or serial date!
Your Sister: Whoever said a monogamous relationship has to last forever? Like you keep saying, people "evolve" all the time, why is it that we have to stick to one person?? For a lifetime??
You: Or even a long time! Why stick with one person? Why not just go out there and hunt and have fun!
Your Sister: Because you need to form at least one meaningful, long-term relationship with another fellow human to be happy!
You: Why can't they be a bunch of people?!
Your Sister: Well there is always polygamy!
In your case it will be polyandry though!
You: Yes! Maybe thats it, maybe I am polyandrous!
You Sister: No sweetie, thats called being a whore!
You: No you just can't understand it!
Your Sister: Absolutely! You know why? Because I can barely keep up with one guy! Not to mention a whole bunch of them!! If you can, well kudos for you!
You ---------------- Everyday homo, the homo next door, a single homo, the archetype homo
Your sister--------His bestfriend, the keeper of his secrets, the good counsel, his best homo friend
Time ---------------The perpetual present
Place----------------The Land of the Nile
Judgment (1)
You: He got married a few weeks ago..
Your Sister: Oh sweetheart I am so sorry!
You: Its ok. I knew this was going to happen, but you are always never prepared for this moment..
Your Sister: Sweetheart, he is not worth it. He is a selfish asshole, who should be shot in a public square after having his balls cut off!
You: He called me yesterday and wanted to get together.
Your Sister: What?? NO!
You: Yes.. and I think I want to go see him..
Your Sister: Sweetheart that would be the worst thing that you could ever do! Whatever your feelings towards him, whatever you two are having, whatever you think he has and that no other man does, you can not see him again.. Its unfair to everyone in this situation
You: I don't want to think about fair or not fair.. I need to see him so I can have peace
Your Sister: I don't care for whatever reason that made him get married, social pressure, identity crisis, sexual confusion, he likes pussy, whatever, all the same to me, he made a certain lifestyle choice over being with you, and by doing that placed you in a position where you will always be the "other woman", the home wrecker, the harlot, the one that has no rights and can ask for none, and the one that is not treated as an equal. Sweetie you deserve better. Much better.
You: I don't know what I deserve or not, for the time when were together he was great, I just don't want to think about another guy.. I want him..
Your Sister: And you shouldn't and I am sorry but I am going to pull a Mariah Carey for that one, him "coming back to you, is against all the odds and thats what you have to face"!
You: Yeah, that helps a lot.. !
Your Sister: Sweetie, you know what you have to do, and you know what is right, you can't see a married man and you can not help him in thinking its easy to break a promise that he made to his wife to be faithful and monogamous. Or else you become like him: A selfish asshole!
Judgment (2)
You: I think I have a problem
Your Sister: Whats wrong?
You: I think I have an STD, one of the nasty ones..
Your Sister: What?? How??
You: I think its .......
Your Sister: What?? You only get that if you are practicing unsafe sex?!
You (with contrition): I did.. with this guy.. we did it once and then we never used condoms after..
Your sister (screaming): Have you completely lost your mind??? How could you???
You: I don't know! I just did! I assumed he is disease free and - I hate condoms!! HATE IT! Hate the fucking thing!!!
Your Sister: You are fucking insane!! What do you mean you "hate condoms"?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
You (exasperated): I don't know- this whole obsession with safe sex and the post-AIDS sexual ethics just doesn't go with me! Its such policing of intimacy and of the body.. I feel as if I have no control over my body..
Your Sister: The HELL you don't! Now you really don't have control over body!! Your exposing your body to every kind of lethal STD out there by what you are doing!! Fuck sexual ethics! There is a real threat to your life in not practicing safe sex! You can not argue your way out of this!
You: I am not arguing my way out this.. I made a decision and I now have to bear the consequencs of it..
Your Sister: No you don't! You are a hypocrite! You keep judging everyone for being promiscuous and keep demanding of the gay community a more "humane sexual ethic" and blah blah while you yourself are doing exactly what everyone else is doing!
You: No I am not! I amazed if people can survive fisting and I get that!
You (sighing): I am terrified.. How on Earth am I going to treat that?? I can't go to a physician, because the moment he sees that, he will know right away, not only am I a homosexual, but I am a sexually active homosexual and I don't use condoms!
Your Sister: This is what you fucking get when you don't use a fucking condom! Being gay in this fucking country is no fucking jolly ride! Its a fucking horrible existence! You don't want to add this a list of STDs that you can't get the right medical and psychological support for!!
You (in tears): I know.. and I am completely miserable.. Not as miserable over the STD, as much as I am miserable as how to deal with it.. I know so well, that I just can't go to a physician and seek help and now I will become a sexual pariah! No one would want to even touch me and I can't event take my clothes off without everyone knowing exactly what this is..
Your Sister: Maybe that is your lesson. For espousing a certain ideal and going against it, for preaching for so long about something and doing exactly the opposite! There is a real threat when you actually don't practice safe sex, you do endanger your life and those around you. Beyond ethics, beyond philosophy, beyond allergy and beyond the politics of intimacy. These tiny particles of things that we can't see and can't control can actually kill us, and they really don't care about how you feel about condoms!
You: Well you and the whole community can gloat and gloat and bitch all you like about it.. it is such a horrific moment, when the personal, the private becomes not only medicalized, turned into a lethal pathology, but subject to a moral gaze, a moral trial, a public censure for a behavior everyone regards as danger, irresponsible and self-destructive. All of this compounded by the fact that even the medicalization of such a private condition can not take place in a country like this.. you have to suck it in, and suffer in silence..
Your Sister: Ah! Spare me the self-pity! You screwed up and not in a good way and if you want a kiss and a pat on the shoulder, it won't be this time!
Judgment (3)
You: I am just not happy in that arrangement..
Your Sister: Sweetie, why? Whats wrong?
You: I just don't see why do I have to commit to one person and forfeit the opportunity to enjoy this incredible sensations with other people.. Why can't I just keep seeing other people and still have my own life?!
Your Sister: Is it about him? Or is this about commitment?
You: I don't know.. Part of me thinks that it is very realistic in a young same-sex relationship to be open and to provide this outlet and not to burden the relationship with the monotony of one sex partner -
Your Sister: Straight men do it all the time!
You: Straight men cheat!
Your Sister: Do all straight men cheat?
You: Yes! But its not about straight men, its about being realistic about your expectations and what you demand from your partner, you're young and healthy and want to experiment!
Your Sister: Is that the argument that men by nature want to amass the biggest number of sex partners to spread their seed?? Because if it is, well honey if men's evolutionary development entailed having the biggest number of sexual partners to spread their seed to ensure that their gene pool is passed through offspring, then this does not apply to us! Its strictly heterosexist and assumes that the only reason or objective of having sex is procreation and no matter how much seed you pass or receive, you can't get pregnant!
You: I know that! But its the same with hunting, we stopped hunting thousands of years ago but we still retain those instincts!
Your Sister: Really? Because if thats true, I can't even kill a fly! Not to mention my own food!
This whole instinct thing is rubbish. By the same argument we evolve beyond those instincts, because we respond to our changing environment.
You: We are going into side arguments, what I mean to say is I don't think anyone can be happy in a monogamous relationship for long and I don't think everyone is cut for it
Your Sister: I understand the sex part of it, I understand that men are naturally selfish and would like to maximize not only the pleasure they get but the way they receive this pleasure, but happiness is a whole other thing I can't see you arguing that
You: I am not happy like that.. I want to see other people and get excited about other people, otherwise the relationship becomes work!
Your Sister: Exactly! Relationships, are work! A lot of work! And they are not for the faint-hearted. And they are not for those who are selfish and they are not for those who want to be constantly excited!
You: Bitch!
Your Sister: Bitch all you like! But you can't justify your ennui about your relationship by saying that monogamous relationships are not a very positive condition for happiness. And you can not explain your desire to meet other people and enjoy multiple sexual encounters by your fear and phobia of commitment.
Commitment is not doing time, its NOT being incarcerated and deprived from every joy the way you make it sound. Its growing up and assuming responsibility!
You: Now you just sound boring! Like a real chick with issues!
Your Sister: Yes! I sound like a chick because I think people should make the effort and try to commit and stay in monogamous relationships??
You: Yes! It might work for straight people but what makes you think it will work for gay people?? What makes you think it will work for young gay men??
Your Sister: Don't bring the whole straight-gay thing about relationships are for straights and promiscuity is for gays! That just reinforces every disgusting stereotype about gay people! And it serves to show how a bunch of juvenile retards they are and how they have congenital problems in becoming responsible adults!
You: How does being in a monogamous relationship make you a responsible adult? What does it have to do with growing up?
Your Sister: Because you can not live your life being twenty five, and you can not live your life without developing one meaningful attachment to another human being, its almost impossible that any human is incapable of developing an emotional attachment, and those who can't are actually classified as sick! Its a disease!
You: I didn't say you should not develop a meaningful relationship with another person, I said have an open relationship or serial date!
Your Sister: Whoever said a monogamous relationship has to last forever? Like you keep saying, people "evolve" all the time, why is it that we have to stick to one person?? For a lifetime??
You: Or even a long time! Why stick with one person? Why not just go out there and hunt and have fun!
Your Sister: Because you need to form at least one meaningful, long-term relationship with another fellow human to be happy!
You: Why can't they be a bunch of people?!
Your Sister: Well there is always polygamy!
In your case it will be polyandry though!
You: Yes! Maybe thats it, maybe I am polyandrous!
You Sister: No sweetie, thats called being a whore!
You: No you just can't understand it!
Your Sister: Absolutely! You know why? Because I can barely keep up with one guy! Not to mention a whole bunch of them!! If you can, well kudos for you!
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