The Orgy of Viciousness
Not in the sense of a sex party, but in the archaic sense of an ecstatic ceremony where participants, driven by ecstatic frenzy, indulge in extreme intoxication and sever acts of violence resulting in Sparagmos, the sacrifice of an animal or a human being by ripping it to pieces.
The consummate act of imitating a wild god.
I never knew the day would come and I would participate in an orgy, in the modern or the archaic sense.
And I was never aware that gay people worshiped the Goddess of Viciousness.
They offered her sacrifice, engaged in orgiastic rituals and even go as far as Sparagmos.
Here is a snapshot of the ceremony:
'your hair looks terrible today', said a raving alcoholic
'...... addiction to intellect & pseudo-sophistication' said the one person with chronic semantic failure
'You're just like Lynette, always tired and undersexed' said another novice
'Don't worry sweetheart, God will give you plenty! (referring to sex)', said another participant
When did it become perfectly fine to rip my personal life to pieces and offer it on the alter of unbridled viciousness and personal amusement? Or pass it around as hors d'oeuvre in a cocktail party?
When did we come to celebrate crude psychology and mechanistic explanation of action and intentionality?
(it would really help if you can pick a book some time and actually try to read. I know your language abilities are limited, but it might do you a lot of good)
Psuedo-sphostication? Shofty?
Nothing fascinates more then the way humans imitate the divine or how they try to internalize it.
But this was not ecstatic ceremony to celebrate a Nature God, this was everything anyone should hate gay people for.
A violation of personal privacy, a compromise of trust, an unprecedented display of vulgarity and a very disturbing social dynamics where someone is undermined because of their personal choices.
I am astounded by how incredibly amoral everyone in this 'orgy' was.
Astounded.
The raving women who ripped their own children to pieces had much more morality then the group of gay people I was sitting with.
They were driven by their belief they will become more godly.
Not overcompensate because you are an oppressed minority mistaking promiscuity for individual emancipation.
Truly the ethics of the slaves, to quote Nietzsche.
Sitting there, I realized I was tired.
I was incredibly fed up with the claustrophobic, paranoid, morally despicable atmosphere.
There was no sense of camaraderie, no respect, no meaningful attachment, and the emotional range of anyone within 5 miles radius does not go beyond the emotional range of an armchair.
When I started writing this blog, aside from my desire to amuse and exercise my intellectual wit, it was truly an attempt to engage with the so-called community and maybe, just maybe offer it as a witness or a testimony of what everyone of us has to go through, very much a la Jewish Diaspora kind of writing.
I felt I owed it to myself and to others to write and voice our -if there is such a thing as "our"- side of the story.
Not because I am a juvenile attention whore, who loves using semantically disastrous phrasing (yes sweeite, we know you can use a thesaurus, but while you are at, can you consult a grammar guide too?) and shallow simplistic psychology to stir meaningless controversies about redundant childish antics.
Blame it on Gossip Girl.
Or write about uninteresting sexual encounters in abominable mediocre style.
How banal is that?
And I still believe and always will, promiscuity is not meant for humans, no matter how much analogies you draw between humans and primates or humans and jellyfish.
The emotional cost of promiscuity outweighs any pleasure no matter how great or immense.
Gay people should definitely look up evolutionary biology.
If the subject of morality, is oh so "frightfully dull".
Try Wikipedia.
I am not a disembodied, floating mind, that has no physical or sexual substance.
And I am not Ugly Betty as someone once suggested.
I do not overcompensate by "pseudo-sophistication" or do I like it when people tell me you are nothing but a "brain".
I am a totality of human experience, that exists through actions as much as it exists through ideas.
And if writing this blog made everyone think differently, then maybe I should just stop writing altogether.
Comments
1. Do you really think that those orgiastic rituals are restricted to gays? I kind of doubt it. And if so, why? because the only thing that gets them together is sexual orientation?
2. Don't we all engage in those rituals on day/party or another?
3. I very much appreciate your blog. It's a shame that the semantic errors whore's blog got attention from BBC while yours didn't! It's the poverty of media anyway. I think this blog must be published as a book.
Don't let them get to you sister!
Now to answer your questions one by one:
1. Yes. Orgiastic rituals were by definition practiced by minorities. They were underground cults were these minorities (i.e. women and foreigners) subvert the lines of identity and expected social roles. It was the only time women acted so 'freely'. Where women's hysteria was actually celebrated, or considered divine, by imitating a Nature God.
More or less in a gay setting, where the very thing that sets gay people apart, i.e. sexuality, becomes the marker for identity, and thus magnified and becomes central.
So it has an element of what you say of 'gets them together'
2. Of course. The lines of ritual and play of everyday life are always blurred. But what sets apart ritualized play or ritual reenactment is that we are aware of the codes/rules of the ritual or the game.
In my case I was not.
Hence, the horror and indignation.
I thank you again for your kindness and generosity.
As annoying (and probably painful) as being the scape goat must have been, it is in fact flattering somehow, unpleasant for sure, but u basically had a room of people feeling intimidated by you, by your intellect and projecting their issues on you.
Pls don't stop writing, I agree with anonymous 1, this blog is precious.
It's so important for me!
I go online from time to time with the excitement of maybe I will find a new text, and then, I read you will stop it!
NO NO NO.
BIG QUEENIE GLITTERY OBJECTION
(and you know how scary this can be )
Not sure if you are thinking you should not do another due to your experience or if you totally game for another one.
Btw, don't shut your blog down. There is a reason you created it. Despite the lack of inspiration, which all of us writers go through, it shouldn't be done. Keep it at :)