Sex und der Stadt - Ich bin nicht ein Lesbian

After being given the cold Sauerkraut by her Bavarian brezel, the eccentric morbid queen decided it was time to move on and give a chance to other Deutsch gentlemen. Not that the scene was wanting in eligible bachelors or anything.
Before she knew it she had a date with a handsome gentleman whose role remained ambiguously undefined. From experience, the eccentric morbid queen always knew that this was never a good sign. Its mostly closeted bottoms who do that. People who have issues coming to terms with their sexual preferences.
But she went along with it, for the first time, this gentleman lived in the old west side of the city. An area the eccentric morbid queen rarely visited and had no encounters from over there.
So after spending a delightful few hours in the Film Museum on Postdam Platz, and gushing over Marlene Dietrich costumes, the eccentric morbid queen hailed a cab and was on her way.
Her gentleman was indeed handsome, well traveled, widely read, an architect and provided a pleasant and agreeable company. And he promised to make it up to her after her sauer experience with her Bavarian archloch. The eccentric morbid queen could not wait!
Before she knew it her architect was all over her. In her long history of dealing men, never has the eccentric morbid queen seen such virtuoso use of tongue. It was every where. The eccentric morbid queen wondered how the hell can anyone do all this with just their tongue??
It was sensational.
For the first five minutes exactly.
Then the eccentric morbid queen felt she was having sex with a fish. Pun intended.
The eccentric morbid queen being devoted to beef and not much for the piscean wonders, quickly tried to redirect her gentleman's interest to other testosterone-based body parts.
With no success. Her German architect used every single body part but his penis. And in the back of her mind, the eccentric morbid queen wondered, "what the #@$^%&^??!
So she bluntly asked him, what do you enjoy? Whats your fucking role in fucking bed?
The predictable answer was, "Versatile".
Code word for I enjoy bottoming so much I am scared to admit it.
Five minutes later the eccentric morbid queen wiped the fish slobber from her face and pushed her gentleman aside and told him "you know what, I have to go, I have to catch dinner with some friends".
Her gentleman sensed her dissatisfaction and asked her if everything was alright and she assured him, "its fine, don't worry".
As she walked down the street, the eccentric morbid queen vowed never to go out again with anyone who does not clearly say "Top and loving it"!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Free your mind in your androgeny...

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