I kissed a Saudi and I liked it
Before Kiki starts sending mass emails and contacting local newspapers, I thought I would save Kiki the trouble and post the information online myself.
After a baking marathon to bake every cake recipe in the book for a Christmas Eve Soriee, I was completely worn out and felt as attractive as a hippo in mating season.
And while scavenging on mansham, I came across a sexy photo of a certain, new gentleman who requested I leave my email if I am interested.
Messages wouldn't do.
And leave my email I did.
Although I have been struggling to implement a "no-promiscuity" policy, but of course to no success at all. Beggars are not choosers.
So across other channels of communication we started "talking". Suffering from sever ADD, we barely chatted for five minutes, through which I had to repeat everything three time, because he "never registered".
My gentleman insisted we exchange number and talk over the phone. Again, a conversation that did not exceed 2 minutes, as his ADD kicked in right there too.
After little negotiation online it was decided we should meet. My gentleman was new to town, and the "scene" and of all the people he came in contact with, "you are the nicest", he said.
Along the way he revealed that he is from the land across the sea, the arid, hostile Saudi Arabia.
Now we all acknowledge the mutual historical animosity between the two societies, and the condescending, presumptuous attitude most Saudis have towards Egyptians and the opportunistic, demeaning attitude most Egyptians have towards Saudis.
And in an effort to avoid unnecessary clashes, I instituted a policy of "No Gulfies". Despite the fact that "we" kind of buried the hatchet (please refer to the post, 'Slap Her She is Gulfie'), I haven't met anyone whose attitude made more reproach possible.
Till my Saudi gentleman insisted we meet.
So with a slice of my exquisite, French Flourless Chocolate cake, and lots of curiosity, I hailed a cab at an obscene hour and headed for my Saudi Prince (pun not intended).
Aside from the fact that everything about him was "straight" (he was obsessed with football, loved action movies, drank beer,...etc) he was quite cute.
And he gave me the benefit of an interesting conversation, despite the fact that his ADD was always in the way.
I appreciated the fact that he made the effort to talk and not just jump into my pants like most "other men" would do.
He was delightful and worldly and had a very charming self-effacing modesty. Unusual for someone from this part of the world.
And before the eccentric morbid queen knew it, she was all over the poor guy.
Clothes flying everywhere, limbs moving around and (censored).
And much to my own surprise, there was even a cuddle, interrupted by the usual ADD.
And even more interesting conversations afterwards.
Despite the fact that sexual compatibility might have been in question (obviously Saudis are not big on kissing), the eccentric morbid queen kissed a Saudi and she liked it.
And while I might have harbored some feeling for this charming Saudi gentleman, he made it very clear he is not into long term relationships and is not interested in seeking one.
And before threatening to expose me to the media, Kiki gave a priceless piece of advice, "Honey, Saudis are all sugar and sweet when snuggling on the sofa, but once you close the door behind you, its over".
Well, Kiki, thank you for the advice and you threaten me all you like, but I kissed a Saudi and I liked it.
Live with it.
After a baking marathon to bake every cake recipe in the book for a Christmas Eve Soriee, I was completely worn out and felt as attractive as a hippo in mating season.
And while scavenging on mansham, I came across a sexy photo of a certain, new gentleman who requested I leave my email if I am interested.
Messages wouldn't do.
And leave my email I did.
Although I have been struggling to implement a "no-promiscuity" policy, but of course to no success at all. Beggars are not choosers.
So across other channels of communication we started "talking". Suffering from sever ADD, we barely chatted for five minutes, through which I had to repeat everything three time, because he "never registered".
My gentleman insisted we exchange number and talk over the phone. Again, a conversation that did not exceed 2 minutes, as his ADD kicked in right there too.
After little negotiation online it was decided we should meet. My gentleman was new to town, and the "scene" and of all the people he came in contact with, "you are the nicest", he said.
Along the way he revealed that he is from the land across the sea, the arid, hostile Saudi Arabia.
Now we all acknowledge the mutual historical animosity between the two societies, and the condescending, presumptuous attitude most Saudis have towards Egyptians and the opportunistic, demeaning attitude most Egyptians have towards Saudis.
And in an effort to avoid unnecessary clashes, I instituted a policy of "No Gulfies". Despite the fact that "we" kind of buried the hatchet (please refer to the post, 'Slap Her She is Gulfie'), I haven't met anyone whose attitude made more reproach possible.
Till my Saudi gentleman insisted we meet.
So with a slice of my exquisite, French Flourless Chocolate cake, and lots of curiosity, I hailed a cab at an obscene hour and headed for my Saudi Prince (pun not intended).
Aside from the fact that everything about him was "straight" (he was obsessed with football, loved action movies, drank beer,...etc) he was quite cute.
And he gave me the benefit of an interesting conversation, despite the fact that his ADD was always in the way.
I appreciated the fact that he made the effort to talk and not just jump into my pants like most "other men" would do.
He was delightful and worldly and had a very charming self-effacing modesty. Unusual for someone from this part of the world.
And before the eccentric morbid queen knew it, she was all over the poor guy.
Clothes flying everywhere, limbs moving around and (censored).
And much to my own surprise, there was even a cuddle, interrupted by the usual ADD.
And even more interesting conversations afterwards.
Despite the fact that sexual compatibility might have been in question (obviously Saudis are not big on kissing), the eccentric morbid queen kissed a Saudi and she liked it.
And while I might have harbored some feeling for this charming Saudi gentleman, he made it very clear he is not into long term relationships and is not interested in seeking one.
And before threatening to expose me to the media, Kiki gave a priceless piece of advice, "Honey, Saudis are all sugar and sweet when snuggling on the sofa, but once you close the door behind you, its over".
Well, Kiki, thank you for the advice and you threaten me all you like, but I kissed a Saudi and I liked it.
Live with it.
Comments
- fellow concerned egyptian